Is your child out of control?
By Fiona Latif
We’ve all been there. When we get hauled into sorting out a situation where our children are shouting/biting/hitting/taking without asking or simply just refusing to share. And we’ve got our own ‘to-do’ list pending……
Where our child has changed state in a nano-second, and we are dealing with the shock and emotion in the swift-moving turn of events.
How did we get here? And more importantly, how do we prevent it from escalating?
Through the lens of Conscious Parenting, we look at building awareness of child behaviour, the symptoms and the drivers of the ‘problem’.
Once we deconstruct and establish what the problem actually is, we can address these ‘problems’ rather than react to the ‘symptoms’ (the screaming, shouting, etc.).
The problem is what’s driving the behaviour.
So, the next question is ‘How do I fix it?’
(1) Emotional Attunement:
Be aware that our children do not have their executive functions developed at such young ages. What this means is that they can’t process situations as adults can, and don’t always have the words to express themselves.
So, one way to help deactivate the situation is if we give our child the ‘words’ as once they understand what words to use – they don’t have to use their fists or cry or scream to express how they feel.
(2) Behavioural Attunement:
It’s difficult to do but in the heat of the situation, try and pause (we’ll teach you how to do this too!) and ask yourself, what is driving my child’s behaviour? Are they hungry or tired? Do they feel not listened to? Are they unable to express themselves? Etc.
Once the root cause is recognised, we can then adjust our responses to help our child.
(3) Empathetic Attunement:
If our child is in the ‘red zone’ and we match their energy with our frustration and annoyance, what do you think happens? Lose / Lose situation.
When we have empathy, this creates both an enhanced connection with your child and a deeper sense of trust. They feel you are on their side and you are a team. Win / Win situation.
Interested to know more?
In September we will once again be running our Conscious Parenting workshops for parents here at woo-hoo!
Here we explore the above concepts (and more) over a specifically crafted series of sessions. We will provide you with insights, tools and solutions for ever day use, helping you raise the next generation of empowered, resilient, emotionally conscious children!
These workshops will take place in woo-hoo! – It is the best place for children to explore their creative side, and learn through various hands-on activities. Located in Dubai, woo-hoo! is a great place with various activities for children. We cater to children between the ages of 0-12 years old and also have various workshops that will help the child in their various stages of development. Click here to book your ticket now.